THE LIFE OF A MEMORY

My memory serves me…………………..

I am a little girl. I am 6 years old maybe a

little older. I have six older siblings and

one younger sister. I have a few sketchy

memories of this little girl. And some are

etched clearer in my heart than in my mind.

I remember

Looking through the slits of my closed eyes

at my father putting on his trousers

hurriedly but yet in the same unique way he

always did.

He thrust his right foot into the trouser leg,

it was always his right leg first and then the

left.

While doing so he held the left pant leg

up against the waistband of the pant.

Two fingers deftly holding it ready to be gone, to

swing down in unison with his left leg going

into it.

My eyes shift I can see the bed up against

the wall. I lay still.

Several voices I heard calling my name in

octaves higher each time.

My eyes shut I lay. Off went my eldest sister

and father to call the doctor I was told later.

Was I dead? No, I was not. But why did I

not get up to the call to go for early

morning mass?

Was I not willing to go to church?

No, I don’t remember, going to church

being distasteful at that age. I was

too young and too obedient to make such a

choice.

Then what was it? As I remember it…..I

was called to get up I did not….what

followed was rapid and on the spot ….all

hell broke loose as I did not wake up and

apparently I looked dead to the onlookers.

But for me I just went with the flow after

the initial 2 seconds it was not in my hands

anymore. Maybe I wanted the attention? I

like to think not, but whatever!

What followed was a stunning ruffle from

my scared and angry mother and what

seemed never ending was a steady,

unrelenting, painful teasing by my siblings

which mortified me and ALWAYS had me

dissolve in tears.

I was the Great Pretender. They sang the song of that

title“O OH O OH Yes, I AM A GREAT

PRETENDER………

that line was enough for the sob to begin.

At last, now it does no more. I have grown

up!

As I said my memory serves me. Maybe you

won’t remember it like my memory serves.......

So …….Ha ha! Keep Smiling!

Love always

Joscelyn